Sexy Scallion Pancakes

Remember last week when I told myself I was over going out and getting groped by men with inexplicably chunky backpacks and an inability to move their hips?

So... another Saturday, another hobbit, and another sexy Chinese recipe to cure your post-man-encounter blues.

You're going to need:

2 cups flour (plus extra to avoid excessive stickiness)

Scallions

Oil

Soy sauce

Ginger

Rice wine vinegar

Sugar

Salt.

Mix the flour and 1 cup of boiling water to make dough. I was showering during this part so uh, just eyeball it. You're done when it looks like dough. Now roll it into a ball, throw some plastic wrap on top, and let it rise for twenty minutes.

While the dough was rising, we switched over to the sauce. Chinese food, I'm realizing, reuses the same four ingredients to make a million different sauces. When I asked Lindsey what the proportions were, she responded, "Oh, I just dumped it in. We don't have a lot of measuring going on in this kitchen." 奶奶 has spoken.

So dump in some scallions, ginger, some soy sauce, some rice wine vinegar, and some sugar. Get funky, add some of each until you like the taste (or until you get overzealous on one ingredient and then waste everything else trying to balance it out).

Once the dough has risen, cut it into four equal chunks. Sprinkle some flour onto a cutting board. Apparently if you don't use flour, the dough clings to you like a sweaty frat boy who NEEDS you to know he can rap every lyric in that Kanye song. Grab a chunk and roll it around in the flour, then flatten into a pancake.

Coat lightly with oil, roll it up like an old carpet, and then roll the roll into a spiral like a cinnamon roll. I know that's confusing, so here are some other analogies to help you visualize:

-Roll it like a yoga mat

-Spiral like one of those 1950s golden age rainbow lollipops

-We literally couldn't think of anything else. If you still don't get it just go to another food blog. No, it's alright. We don't mind, really. Honestly, Jake, it's fine. It's fine. We said it's FINE.

Okay, great! Flatten it into another pancake. Coat with oil again and then scatter some scallions, and do the whole rolly-polly again. Once it's all mixed up, flatten into a pancake.

Throw some oil in a pan and throw that sucker in! You're so close! Wait for it to get golden, flip, and wait some more.

You did it! You made some scallion pancakes (aka scallion oil cakes (our Chinese audience is laughing, the rest of you can deal)). We're so proud. So glad we found you. You know, after Jake, we thought.....we thought no one would want us like that again. You're perfect. Never leave us.

Never.

With love,

Faith & Lindsey